Melissa was diagnosed with clinical depression with a chemical imbalance. She was 16, ready to start her junior year in high school, a distinguished student in her theatre program there.
It was June 1994, and Melissa was due to have jaw surgery then, so that everything would heal before school started in August. The doctor told her that when she woke up, her mother and father would be there. He told her not to worry; there would be no complications.
When she did awaken, her parents were not in the room--just a nurse who spoke broken English. Melissa reached for her face, only to find her fingers wet with blood. This triggered Melissa's depression, which had been, for 16 years, hidden deep within her, waiting for the time to surface.
She did not visit a psychologist right away. She went through a real low time, throwing her emotions left and right. She cried often and threw frequent fits of anger. She was, after weeks of feeling depressed, finally referred to a psychologist by her family doctor.
After tests and a review of Melissa's family history, she was diagnosed with clinical depression with a chemical imbalance: a hereditary condition (her grandmother, aunt, and cousin all being clinically depressed).
She describes the diagnosis as a relief--"a relief to finally find out what's been wrong."
At first, her doctor prescribed 25 mg of Zoloft a day. (She presently takes 100 mg a day.) It took two months for Melissa to notice a change in her disposition. In those two months, she experienced the lowest time of her life--she knew she was depressed, it was just waiting for the medicine to balance her emotions that was grueling.
During that time, she remembers one night in particular. She cannot recall a reason for the fit, but she remembers losing control of herself. She screamed; she cried; she locked herself in the bathroom. Her parents and younger brother were scared and upset themselves. They resorted to calling the police to have her taken somewhere--somewhere away from home.
She was able to calm down and stay home that night, and she recalls things looking up from there. Things were awkward at home for awhile. Her parents were very worried and protective of her. They were always reminding her to take her medicine, and sometimes screened what movies she should and should not see. (If the movie looked sad or disturbing, they were a little leery of her going to see it.)
Recently, she moved away from home to go to college. The transition was not all that bad for her, but one night, she lost all control. She was with a friend, and just could not stop crying. After about an hour of this hysteria, her friend convinced her to call her mom.
Her friend told me (Melissa has trouble remembering that night) that Melissa quit taking her medicine for about five days. When she asked why, Melissa replied, "I feel stupid having to take my medicine." She did not like having to rely on the Zoloft to be normal.
Without the Zoloft, after a couple days, Melissa feels on edge and anxious. But
there haven't been that many of those occasions. With the medicine, Melissa
leads a normal life: she keeps busy with classes, she spends time with friends,
and she has successfully made a place for herself in the Theatre Department at
the university where she is pursuing a degree in Theatre.
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